Normalizing Normal

What is normal anyway?

Welcome to “Normalizing Normal” - the title of this weekly newsletter and will likely be the title of my upcoming book (October 2026). It is also the phase I coined in 2020 when my social media career began.

What started as a hobby, pure dumb luck, stay at home loneliness, and Covid lockdown boredom, I created a Tiktok account and began documenting silly dancing videos, pandemic themed skits, and lastly, parenting content.

I saw perfect mommy influencers, marble countertops and super clean houses, and looked around at my….polar opposite view. My kids were often half dressed, eating cereal out of a box, and dancing to the “The Office” theme song which was just played in the background on repeat.

Watch a Normalizing Normal Video Here

I felt lost, and alone, and so, in a leap of faith- I made a silly video documenting my chaos. And made it silly, and fun. Radical acceptance and humor about my less than perfect home.

The rest is history. It blew up. Articles written. Interviews taken. I have been in books, on podcasts, on TV shows and have even held hands with Drew Barrymore (and yes I absolutely throw that into any conversation I can). Normalizing Normal has grown into its own kind of brand.

But what does it really mean….

Does normal even exist?

Often times when I post a video I am met with a comment that will read “Well, that’s not my normal”- which, correct. It might not be- but it is MINE. And my normal is one I do not see represented as something to be celebrated or noted as “okay”. And so I share it with the world, so that others feel less alone.

My normal- my messy house, feral children, and outfits I have word multiple days in a row- are often labeled as something to fix. Or a setback. Something that is sympathized with- but ultimately a problem. Not a success.

But what if I told you- I am totally fine with how I live. I have ADHD and am messy. I was before kids, and probably will be when they are grown and gone. It’s me, hi, I am the problem it’s me. I do not love cooking or cleaning, and will often put fun and joyful things first before the dishes. I am also the mom okay if her kids want to run in the splash pad at the zoo with their clothes on, and run around outside when a rain storm rolls in.

My mess and chaos is not something I really actively try to improve or fix. Yeah it’s a little chaotic here but I sleep like a baby with dishes in my sink, and sometimes I think that is a super power, and I really try hard to help others to be able to breathe a little bit when they see mess.

I do NOT like glitter though. That is where I draw the line.

So does normal exist?- no, not really. And I think that is the point. There is no baseline of what is “right”. There is no magical formula you have to follow in this life to be successful or to feel happiness and joy. The possibilities of what you can do and who you can be are almost limitless.

Insert me scream singing “ UNLIMITEDDDDDDD”.

Clean and minimal is not the base for success or what everyone needs to strive for to be your “best” stuff. I love stuff, and things, and cool art and trinkets and gadgets, and that is OK. It’s ok.

Being aesthetically pleasing is a hobby.

Home decor- hobby.

It has zero reflection of who you are a person, or your work ethic or whether you are successful or not.

As my friend KC Davis would say “ Mess is morally neutral”.

I feel the image I have of every great mind and creative is surrounded with chaos and a messy desk, them frantically searching through drawers to find the right pencil, and shoving papers to the side to make room for their next drawing. Artists. Writers. Inventors.

Some of the most successful minds of our time were GASP** messy.

And so I embrace.

I do not apologize for my mess. When people come over I do still catch myself warning them that it will be messy- but what you will not hear me say is “I am sorry for the mess” followed by the list of why my house is a mess.

But all that is -Is really me screaming “ DO NOT JUDGE ME”

As if messiness is a failure or shortcoming.

And I am here to say it’s not. There are so many reasons your house may be a mess but it is not because you are a bad person, a bad mom, a bad wife.

I am Emily, 33. I have been married two times, and have two kids. I have three cats and a dog. Sometimes my cat pees in the Paw Patrol slide in my playroom. Why, I do not know. I have debt of all the varieties - besides a boat payment- but do not tempt me with a jet ski. I like to make cringy silly videos and post them to the internet- it’s weirdly a job- but mostly it is fun. I love sugar and candy. I once did not go to the dentist for ten years and when I did go I had FOURTEEN CAVITIES- HA! I always drive five miles over the speed limit and I love ice coffee. I dance and sing when I hear music and I am a while vibe. I like to document and make home movies. I play video games on the easiest level, and while I actually can cook well- I hate coming up with dinner ideas.

All normal.

Things people shy away from or are embarrassed by- I celebrate and make others feel at ease about things.

So for those of us that are a hot mess. Whose socks do not match. Who are flying by the seat of our pants- we are normal. For those that are polar opposite- you are normal too.

Because there is no one right way to get through life. There is no one right way to parent, or way to exist in your house.

Normalize that it’s all Normal.